Jesus 3 USA 2

(left- Jesus robs the ball and takes off)

Nifty work by the television director of today’s big soccer game between Brazil and the United States. The Brazilians came ready with I Love Jesus t-shirts, and some quickly pulled them on, after their nail-biting victory over strong American boots. The camera cutaways from players bearing The Message were fast footed, and decisive. No doubt Christians will be cross.

Increasingly, players look to the heavens during the game, usually after scoring a goal. It seems Jesus is getting his kit on, keen to come down, and be part of the action. What will be the response if Brazil win the World Cup next year, and their team captain raises the trophy, not with his nation’s colors underneath the gold, but old Jesus on his cross on a t-shirt?

Maybe this is the way things are heading. Nations melting away, religions rising up from the flood. How about a New World Order soccer tournament? The Faith World Cup. Eleven Christians against Eleven Moslems. Eleven Jews against Eleven Buddhists. Eleven Zoroastrians against Eleven Druids. Eleven atheists against them all.

Watch for soccer’s governing body, FIFA, making a decision soon, on whether players can wear religious messages on shirts, after the final whistle. FIFA, with its headquarters close to its Swiss bank account in Zurich, are more concerned with global branding than injury prone Jesus getting a medal. Every media outlet around the globe publishes the World Cup winner on the front page. Is your religious symbol the one staring out at the world, your version as world champions? Try selling that in losing churches.

As for the football, in this tournament, the USA showed that they are capable of beating the best on the day. But not this day. But it’s still a boost in confidence for the national team. Bring on the World Cup Finals, a year away. I’d rather see the stars and stripes on the chest than the ache of a man hanging by nails.

Kaka – in Mexico it means sh**

Kaka on the beach…in Manchester?

Someone told me that’s what Kaka means. Maybe true. Maybe not. So Kaka is thinking of making the trip North, from the balmy heat of Italy to the dark rusted northern sky of Manchester, England. Has he seen the menu at the local fish and chip shop? There’s no Copa Cabana beach to bounce around on, no naturally lithe bronze beauties to ogle at, only lithe bronze beauties emerging from the deep fryer of the sunbed salon. Manc girls bite.

Like Ronaldo, Kaka will have to bring his chef, his beautician and his gloves. And soon the $500,000 dollars a week salary will be spent on heating bills. Manchester is the frozen bloody tundra! Kaka will last two years at Manchester City, and be gone for a value well under what the Manchester Sheiks’ are willing to pay now.  He’s a bad mortgage, a sub prime soccer player. English football does not fit the style of the laid back hipster. It’s why Ronaldo is heading back to the warmer climes next year. He can’t stand the food, or driving on the wrong side of the road.