Ronaldo as God

11 Jun

cristiano-ronaldo-shirtless

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What Ronaldo’s bank account receives in a week  takes the average worker five to six years to earn. Then again, the average worker can’t score from forty yards. The thieving bankers take millions for themselves and play golf, that most twisted of Freudian perversions (little balls and little holes). At least Ronaldo has to run for his money.

But of what of him, as a footballing God. Notice how his teammates  celebrate his thunder strikes with awe in their eyes. His tempestuous anger, just like Zeus, always petty in handing out lessons to the mere mortals.  And feared. As Gods are.  Hatred from his victims, cursed, savaged, and doubted, all the plaintive cries of the lesser flesh. His thunderbolt strikes charge the air, bristling with turbulence. His power stronger than a horse. His looks, the chubby cheeks on the warrior hero body.  Dodger of death. Kisser of female lips.  Ronaldo is mythology.

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59 Responses to “Ronaldo as God”

  1. mohssin June 22, 2009 at 1:59 pm #

    moi jeueur pur

  2. ceren June 23, 2009 at 7:23 pm #

    ich liebe dich cristiano ronaldo über alles ♥♥♥♥ ilove

  3. mj June 24, 2009 at 10:33 am #

    i love u

  4. Anonymous June 24, 2009 at 11:59 am #

    الله

  5. marika&ronny June 25, 2009 at 12:42 pm #

    wow ! I love him …

  6. Anonymous June 25, 2009 at 8:41 pm #

    sexiiiiiiii (:

  7. Anonymous June 27, 2009 at 7:21 pm #

    His so gorgeous 😉

    • Anonymous August 25, 2009 at 9:57 pm #

      not at all

  8. moslem June 29, 2009 at 5:38 am #

    man mekhaham fotbalest besham lotfan

  9. jade dean June 29, 2009 at 5:37 pm #

    OMG I LUV HIM SO MUCH I HAVE LOADS OF POSTERS OF HIM ALL OVA ME WALL AND I AV AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY AND I HAVE HIS DVD I JUST LUV HIM 2BIITS HE IS SO SEXII AND GAWGES HE IS LUSH AND HE SHUD GO BAC TO MAN UTD CUZ THATS HIS HOME AND HE BELONGS THERE SO PLZ GO BAC RONALDO WE ALL MISS YOO PLZ ILU X X X X X X X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  10. jagdeep July 3, 2009 at 8:41 am #

    why did you left such a wonderful club like man u

    • Anonymous September 22, 2009 at 7:02 am #

      dude he got 18 laks 4 it y do u think….buh i agreee wid u

  11. erjonna July 3, 2009 at 8:55 am #

    i love you cristano ronaldo un te dua me shpir loqka jeme zemra jeme hajde ne kosova me behu i dashuri im my bojfred tung bay

    • Anonymous August 11, 2009 at 12:09 am #

      qkemi erijonna

  12. genta July 5, 2009 at 3:47 pm #

    eiii o krisiano ronaldo ma i mir je

    • edo August 11, 2009 at 12:12 am #

      o genta nga jeni juve..ciao tanti baci

  13. janin romero July 5, 2009 at 6:26 pm #

    hello cristiano ronaldo what of life te mando saludo desde bolivia que la pases bien en tu nuevo equipo y que te busques otra novia con la que puedas estar felis me despido con un beso bayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  14. Anonymous July 6, 2009 at 7:26 pm #

    beautiful you are the best for everrr

  15. lena July 6, 2009 at 7:27 pm #

    you are the best for ever in my hart I love you

  16. laura July 6, 2009 at 7:29 pm #

    un jam adhuruse e flakt you are the best fotballer I love you te aime ich libe dich sevyorum

  17. laura July 6, 2009 at 7:31 pm #

    un jam adhuruse jote e flakt ich libe dich I love you te amooo
    (K) (L) te dua cristiano ronaldo

    • roni August 11, 2009 at 12:10 am #

      ju gocat shqipetare e keni fiksim ronaldon

  18. kawe July 7, 2009 at 8:45 am #

    kawe gilo bedho’od ko demo

  19. Anonymous July 9, 2009 at 8:06 am #

    Love u…
    Ummaaach…

  20. salman July 10, 2009 at 4:32 pm #

    hi cristiano ronaldo hw ru and bardi love me

  21. ANONIMO July 10, 2009 at 10:06 pm #

    HOLA MI AMOR Q ES ESO! Q VI HAORITA Y YO Q ONDA CUANDO SE ARA REALIDAD

  22. jully July 26, 2009 at 7:45 am #

    hi..i’m from indonesia.
    i very like you ron..
    you are very handsome..
    but i not like be playboy..
    i love you ron..uuumuaach

  23. Anonymous August 3, 2009 at 3:13 pm #

    loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  24. Anonymous August 3, 2009 at 3:14 pm #

    u r so buff luv u lol

    • SHAHAB October 13, 2009 at 5:19 pm #

      HI
      HOWE ARE YOU

  25. mira August 11, 2009 at 9:46 am #

    i like him very much!!je’t aime

  26. lala August 16, 2009 at 3:59 pm #

    Hey who ever it was that wrote this article is pretty ignorant. Dont you know that when you refer to the many gods as in ancient times it’s with an lower case (g) and when you refer to the God stated in The Pledge of Alligiance, it’s with an upper case (G). Please learn your grammar…

  27. egzona August 17, 2009 at 3:30 pm #

    i love yuolove you cristano ronaldo un te dua me shpir loqka jeme zemra jeme hajde ne kosova me behu i dashuri im my bojfred tung bay

  28. egzona August 17, 2009 at 3:33 pm #

    HOLA MI AMOR Q ES ESO! Q VI HAORITA Y YO Q ONDA CUANDO SE ARA REALIDADHOLA MI AMOR Q ES ESO! Q VI HAORITA Y YO Q ONDA CUANDO SE ARHOLA MI AMOR Q ES ESO! Q VI HAORITA Y YO Q ONDA C

  29. egzona August 17, 2009 at 3:35 pm #

    refer to the many gods as in ancient times it’s with an lower case (g) and when you refer to the God stated in The Pledge of Alligiance, it’s with an upper case (G). Please learn your grammar…

    Reply

  30. Yusuf August 24, 2009 at 10:20 am #

    this is very sosweet Cristian Ronaldo

  31. sanju........ August 29, 2009 at 11:17 am #

    OMG dis guy is rilly awesum my lUV………………………i cnt live widout him yaar,…,hi is sexii…

    I LUV U YAAR more dan ny 1……….

  32. ukjyuk August 29, 2009 at 12:40 pm #

    ronaldo e samo moiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. hassan August 31, 2009 at 12:07 pm #

    fuck u

  34. Anonymous September 1, 2009 at 7:31 am #

    yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  35. titit September 4, 2009 at 5:54 am #

    CR 9 ssssssssuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkkk

  36. titit September 4, 2009 at 5:54 am #

    CR 9 FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK

  37. mhamad September 5, 2009 at 5:42 am #

    uor hav cristiano ronaldo sexy by LOVE BOU

  38. wahyu setyawaty September 11, 2009 at 5:03 am #

    CR9,I LOVE YOU FULL

  39. tamanna September 23, 2009 at 11:51 am #

    luv u ronny
    my sweetheart………..
    uuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaa

  40. Anonymous September 24, 2009 at 10:32 am #

    sex mashina

  41. juninho October 8, 2009 at 10:53 pm #

    cristiano cornudo de mierda puto yo juego mejorq vos pecho frio soret

  42. aboozar October 13, 2009 at 7:21 pm #

    whats the matter in Zarghan in iran

  43. sophia October 14, 2009 at 4:36 pm #

    OMG i love ronaldo he is the best man on this earth and the best footballer he is soooo talented and them people that dont like him want their head looking at coz they aint right in the head lol i am a really big fan of him i love him sooo much he is sexyyyy

  44. Anonymous October 16, 2009 at 12:29 pm #

    من کریستیانو رو دوست دارم خیلی زیاد عاشقشم عاشق

    i am an iranian boy i wrote above i love cristiano ronaldo very much

  45. mehdi October 16, 2009 at 12:32 pm #

    من کریستیانو رو خیلی دوست دارم عاشقشم عاشق

    I am an iranian boy i like cristiano ronaldo very much
    i love him so much

  46. Anonymous October 16, 2009 at 8:41 pm #

    pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

  47. marija October 19, 2009 at 6:46 pm #

    God my a**, more like a pansy.

    • marija October 19, 2009 at 6:53 pm #

      Did anyone notice that most of the comments here lack intelligence, including the article??

      “OMG! He is hot, and even though I probably know nothing about football, I think he is the best player in the world.”

      You ditsy girls and guys, please get a life and don’t just a person based on how “Hott and sexii” they are.

      • marija October 19, 2009 at 6:54 pm #

        “judge” misspelled.

  48. Anonymous February 14, 2010 at 6:12 pm #

    you are god

    • Anonymous February 14, 2010 at 6:12 pm #

      I think so. i worship him too.

  49. roberti May 29, 2010 at 3:24 pm #

    o cristiano ronaldo ma hanksh karin he ta qifsha pidhin e nanes te qifsha portogezin e sames merrsh upiqko mater utristo

  50. miss June 4, 2010 at 9:29 am #

    I think cristiano ronaldo is a good footbalplayer and very hansom but to compare him with a god is a litle bit overriacted dont u think

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