The Death of Scottish Football

13 Aug


If you’re Scottish, your football is dead. Once, a thriving field of imaginative players lived in this football worshiping country; now a dead zone, populated by footballing zombies. Scotland’s latest humiliation against Wales ranks as the worst effort by a Scottish team, probably, ever. An abomination of capitulation.

So what has made this footballing country die? Is it the culture? So long enveloped in drink and bad habits. Throughout the years, so many Scottish players banned for alcohol inspired abuse. Is it the fact that Scotland is not a nation, but a region of the United Kingdom? You can only play for your country if you truly have one. Or maybe Scots can’t dance? Brazilian Samba, Argentine Tango, cool, and svelte; the Scottish Highland Fling, no use in football. A corrupt and provincial mindset at the top of the Scottish football establishment condemns it to the grave. Scotland is now a minor football planet, a Luxembourg, an Iceland. And once they talked of winning a World Cup. And still they sing that ironic dirge, I’ll Walk a Million Miles for One of Your Goals, Oh Scotland. Indeed, that is the distance the Tartan Army will have to travel to see their nation score big again. And all that they have left..Let’s hope the English lose. Ashes to ashes. Dust to Dust. The end of Scottish football.

If you fancy it, check out my guide to the World Cup Finals, published on May 4 –


5 Responses to “The Death of Scottish Football”

  1. Ash Napier August 13, 2009 at 5:25 pm #

    I listened to it on 5 live (BBC). When the second went in, in first half injury time, I almost threw the computer out the window.
    I havent felt that bad since I almost threw the tv out the window after going 2-0 down against the fucking Faroe Islands.


    • Alan August 14, 2009 at 3:25 am #

      We are now the Faroe Islands.

  2. hi January 1, 2010 at 6:04 pm #

    i used this pic 4 my book report,its so sad

  3. joe s April 24, 2010 at 9:35 pm #

    i think the whole league system in scotland needs to be changed more promotions for division 1

  4. sfx February 16, 2011 at 1:15 pm #

    Just spotted this and have to say i felt much the same at the time. The recent result against NI has lifted my spirits a bit. In particular the manner of the perfomance and this was also seen against the faroes and in the game against Spain we lost 3-2 in the end.

    Its nice to feel that maybe Levein and the players have found a system that allows us to go forward without becoming disasterous at the back – which has been the problem for years.

    Even under Smith and Mcleish we sacrificed attacking play to stay safe and solid in the middle. Mainly this is becasue we don’t have the quality of defenders to let them cope without 1 or 2 sitting right in front of them.

    Charlie Adam’s arrival as a deep lying play maker has suddenly replaced the “1 in front” of the back 4 from a clogger like McCulloch who can hardly pick a pass beyond 10 yards to a genuine attacking threat.

    Most of all we can know see how the 4 forward players in midfield look when they are not spending the whole game facing the wrong way watching where some clogger behind them dinks the next sideways pass. They look up and forward expecting Charlie to deliver it where they want it.

    Its breath taking for scots fans used to the last few years of performances.

    Scottish Football Lives for now I guess.

    Our bigger problem is the shambles of a league structure we have and the administration of the game to suit only 2 teams.

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