18 Feb

FIFA is worried that God is going to show up at the World Cup Finals this year, and maybe even appear on the field. His most visible involvement was at the Finals in 1990 when one of his agents, the Pope, personally blessed the Irish national team in Rome during the tournament. But the Holy Water was not strong enough to see the Irish to glory. God went back to being mysterious and doing what He does best – blinding referees at the crucial moment. Ask the Irish about Thierry Henry, or the English about Maradona.

But now FIFA faces the prospect of God lifting the World Cup trophy. And with so many visions of Him flying about the world these days someone is likely to be offended. So FIFA is praying that Brazil do not win the cup. Their captain Lucio is God’s defender, and Kaka (above)is His thunderbolt striker. At last year’s Confederations Cup Final in South Africa both players removed their team jerseys to reveal messages suggesting that God was the real winner of the tournament. And their faith may have been strengthened by the fact that Brazil came back from a two goal deficit to beat the separation of church and soccer Americans.

FIFA is warning the national associations to make sure victory and goal celebrations remain human and not divine. No religious diktat will be exposed from under a nation’s colors. The question is this. Will Kaka and other disciples – include South Africa’s Steven Pienaar, another stripper for the Lord –follow the Word of Blatter or the Word of the Almighty? FIFA’s boss, Sepp Blatter, is a formidable force and is likely to fire his own thunderbolt at anyone promoting the World Cup as a place of worship.

Let’s be intellectually sound for a second. Surely, the Finals are positively Darwinian. They represent the survival of the fittest, where evolving soccer nations this time round may be primed to snatch soccer’s Holy Grail from the hands of the World Cup’s chosen few – Brazil, Italy, Germany and Argentina. If North Korea win the World Cup, then God is dead.

What do fans think? Should God displays be allowed at the World Cup Finals?

Alan Black is the author of The Glorious World Cup – A Fanatic’s Guide (published May 4 by Penguin Books)  www.thegloriousworldcup.com


6 Responses to “”

  1. Rob Carey February 22, 2010 at 8:39 am #

    I’m sure Robbie Fowler will be flattered by all the attention.

  2. NIGERIANEYE February 26, 2010 at 3:18 pm #

    i think people should be allowed to express their belief and faith so far it doesnt breach others rights to freedom of worship,writing i love jesus or i love islam in a palyers undershirt should be allowed its just a promotion of faith or religion,the players of the game and its watchers alike have their religions and those without none should also write things that commemorate their belief for their people,maybe a scientist footballer should be allowed to write science is God

  3. Armando February 26, 2010 at 6:34 pm #

    C’mon fifa!! let the player express their gratitud!!!

  4. Rob Carey March 4, 2010 at 9:22 pm #

    I laugh when I see players make the sign of the cross, then constantly cheat all game long, very christian of you.

  5. Rob Carey March 4, 2010 at 9:24 pm #

    Oh I nearly forgot, happy Kenny Dalglish’s birthday day to everyone!
    What do you think of the new Scotland Adidas shirt Alan?

    • Alan Black March 9, 2010 at 8:02 am #

      Rob, I think three stripes will be an improvement, three stripes of luck.

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