Kaka – in Mexico it means sh**

Kaka on the beach…in Manchester?

Someone told me that’s what Kaka means. Maybe true. Maybe not. So Kaka is thinking of making the trip North, from the balmy heat of Italy to the dark rusted northern sky of Manchester, England. Has he seen the menu at the local fish and chip shop? There’s no Copa Cabana beach to bounce around on, no naturally lithe bronze beauties to ogle at, only lithe bronze beauties emerging from the deep fryer of the sunbed salon. Manc girls bite.

Like Ronaldo, Kaka will have to bring his chef, his beautician and his gloves. And soon the $500,000 dollars a week salary will be spent on heating bills. Manchester is the frozen bloody tundra! Kaka will last two years at Manchester City, and be gone for a value well under what the Manchester Sheiks’ are willing to pay now.  He’s a bad mortgage, a sub prime soccer player. English football does not fit the style of the laid back hipster. It’s why Ronaldo is heading back to the warmer climes next year. He can’t stand the food, or driving on the wrong side of the road.